FEATURES ...

We point you in the direction of hot laughter, get words of enlightened comic

wisdom from a very special Swami, and ask you to help us identify the funniest

movie scene of all time!

UNOC presents its inaugural...

HOT OR WHAT! AWARD

CAL WILSON

After winning New Zealand's most prestigious comedy award and helping her native country win the World Theatresports title in Los Angeles Cal Wilson moved to Australia and...well...won another award actually, the 2001 Best Newcomer Award at the Melbourne international Comedy Festival. Success on Australian telly followed swiftly for this talented young lady and her live shows are sell outs.

According to Cal being born and bred in New Zealand makes her "the Phar Lap of Aussie comedy. Although hopefully not as covered in coarse hair." Comparisons with legendary race horses aside we at UNOC think Cal's mega laugh generating appearances on Aussie comedy shows such as "The Wedge" and "Thank God You're Here" plus her drive radio success mean she definitely qualifies as Hot Or What!

Cal as Miss Universe

SWAMI BEYONDANADA

An important part of our mission here at the United Nations Of Comedy is bringing about an end to world seriousness. We asked Swami Beyondanada (who bears a passing resemblance to humourist Steve Bhaerman) for his best 5 suggestions for ridding the world of this scourge.

1.  As much as possible, spend time around young children who are laughing in delight.  Kids' humour is rich in "sillium," and the silliness is fortunately contagious.

2.  Engage in "self-facing humor."  The humor need not be self-deprecating -- and certainly not self-defecating -- but about "fool-realization" which is realizing our own foolishness and lovingly laughing with God at ourselves.

3.  Whenever you feel the tension of imminent seriousness, start using mental floss.  Place your thumb and forefinger of each hand together, hold hands about six or eight inches away from each ear, and gently move back and floss.  As you floss, feel the excess "flossophy" you've filled your brain with dissipate ... it's the best way to prevent truth decay as well.

4.  Take the best jokes you find on the internet and share them on the "outernet."  Nothing is more fun than watching a joke detonate in front of your very eyes, and a good friend or colleague explode in laughter.

5.  Whenever possible, begin all serious meetings with the Hokey Pokey.  Put your whole self in, that is commitment.  Pull  your whole self out, that is detachment.  Turn yourself around, that is transformation ... and THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

Learn more about Swami at www.wakeuplaughing.com

What Is The Funniest Movie Scene Of All Time?

I weigh in with my selection and get some other opinions. I'd love to read your choices so please email me your selection, and the reasons behind it, at info@united-nations-of-comedy.com We'll print your choices and try to arrive at a consensus for Funniest Movie Scene ever!

Anthony Ackroyd

The “Biggus Dickus” scene from “Life Of Brian”

The funniest scene from surely one of the top five funniest films ever made.  Brian, not the Messiah but a very naughty boy, is brought before the hilariously speech impaired Pontius Pilate. The inability of both Brian and John Cleese’s Centurian to understand the commands of the pompous Pilate is funny enough but when the scene is hijacked by the revelation that Pilate has a friend called Biggus Dickus we enter the comedy stratosphere. The tension of watching the guards trying to suppress their laughter in order to avoid offending Pilate (and thus save their own lives!) is priceless. Palin’s Pilate is a comic tour de force.

Watch the "Biggus Dickus"scene

Richard Glover (radio broadcaster)

The "dinner party" from “The Birdcage”

I love the climatic scene of The Birdcage. Robin Williams and Nathan Lane are a gay couple, whose son is about to marry into the family of a right-wing politician. Nathan Lane decides to don drag in order to better play the part of "the conservative mother”. In fact, he enjoys playing the role a little too much, saying appalling things about abortion and homosexuality, with each outrage better winning the adoration of the conservative senator. Meanwhile, a physical farce erupts involving the food, the table-ware and the arrival of the boy’s biological mother. The Robin Williams character sums up the scene: “It's like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.” A wonderful piece of sustained comedy, with a neat commentary on the "values police".

Zoe Carides (actress)

The "hat scene" from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

Marilyn Monroe has affronted a stuffy, conservative older dame by flirting with the woman's rich husband, and is told by the woman (who is wearing some seriously strange head gear), basically, to back off. "And I mean business!" the grand dame threatens Marilyn. In defence of her friend (Marilyn), Jane Russell quips,"Oh really? Then why are you wearing that hat?"

Michael Roberts (film expert)

"Sex education" from "The Meaning Of Life"  

Another bitter social commentary pill washed down by the fizz of Python comedy. The laughter generated conceals the fact that you've just witnessed a complete evisceration of several sacred cows. The British class system, the education system, sexual taboos, formality of married relationships all cop a pie in the face in an elegantly written, beautifully paced vignette. John Cleese plays the slightly agitated teacher straight, to great effect, with the situation an inversion of the private school norm, i.e. the lesson is a graphic sex education piece, with Cleese's 'good lady wife' helping out with an actual demonstration, all the while the boys are bored witless. The language is not crude and the nudity discreet, yet it manages to be the most confronting sex scene imaginable. Priceless.

"Sex education"Python style

Charlie  Pickering (comedian)

"Ruprecht the monkey-boy" from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

This film unleashed onto the world the unlikely, but utterly brilliant, comedy duo of Steve Martin and Michael Caine. When the two professional conmen decide to join forces, you know it’s going to be good, but you have now idea just how good.
 
Ruprecht is a mentally challenged, hyperactive creation of Steve Martin and, with all due political correctness, retardation has never been so entertaining. He has a destructive streak, an amusing voice and a silly walk worth of Monty Python. From the moment he walks on stage, the script snaps to attention, with Caine providing the ideal foil for Martin’s tantrum. Then, when a sexually charged Ruprecht begins to get amorous, the look of genuine revulsion on the face of Lady Fanny of Omaha is utterly priceless. The comedy only matched by Caine’s disciplinary threat of ‘do you want the genital cuff!’.

Enjoy the Ruprecht experience

Martin Brown (film producer)

The “testicles in the zipper scene" from “There’s Something About Mary”

Ben Stiller plays pimple- and brace-faced Ted Stroehmann who, miraculously, scores a  date to the Prom with Mary, played by Cameron Diaz. When he goes to pick her up he tries to impress her by rough-housing with her unfortunately challenged brother and it gets out of hand. He heads to the loo to clean up his bleeding nose and to have a wee.

He’s spotted through the window by Mary and her Mum, apparently self pleasuring. In his panic he manages, somehow, to zip up with one ball OUTSIDE the fly. Progressively Mary, her Mum, her Dad, her family, their neighbours, the police and the fire brigade witness this unique and remarkable humiliation as he is carried out on a stretcher. The punchline is the fire department’s announcement, when they wrench the zipper down, that "THIS ONE’S A BLEEDER!".

I did actually laugh so much that I started falling off my chair.

There's something about Ben's zipper

Let us know your pick for Funniest Movie Scene Of All Time at info@united-nations-of-comedy.com. It may well be completely different from those above. Love to read your choice and why you chose it.